The Very Abridged Life & Times of Harry Potter!

Join us for One Magical Weekend!  Spots are filling fast and there are still some scholarships available. Click Here for More Info!

A Note from Argenta

Dear Queridos,

Yesterday, I had a moment of sadness.  When I learned of Jamey Rodemeyer my heart became heavy.  I became so enraged at what people are doing to our children. I know many of you have experienced this hate first hand.  There is no way for me to apologize for what people have done to you or make it go away.  I can only offer you a safe and fun environment to be yourself…whoever that is! 

Jamey’s story is not unique, unfortunately.   There are so many youth out that have to endure this vile hatred and have had listen to bigots spew poison.  Papis, every day I walk into my office and look at my poster from the Trevor Project.  This poster says “I am glad I failed at suicide because my life is so amazing now” and I think “Me Too, Papi, me too”.   There are way too many unique and beautiful people in our community to lose one.   YOU could cure disease, create masterpieces, change the world…but you have to be here to do it! Who knows, you could be the first gay president…as long as I get to be on the cabinet!  As Mr. Marlo Thomas (Phil Donahue) said “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.”

If you, at any time feel depressed, sad, or that you want to harm yourself or others; please talk to someone.  There are many resources in the community.  Many of them are free! I encourage you all to take a moment and connect with a friend and let them know you care.

So take a moment right now to Text, Call, Facebook, G+, Tweet, Morris Code, Smoke Signals, WHATEVER, and tell them that if they need, you will channel Oleta Adams and get there!  

Please Queridos, take care of yourselves and each other!

Un gran beso y un abrazo grande y fuerte,

Argenta

I Do Not Hook Up

Dear Argenta,

I am looking for something to do on campus, other than hookup…what would you recommend?

Dear Kelly Clarkson,

Querido, that is a GREAT question! There is a TON of stuff to do on campuses across the nation. I can only assume that you are speaking of Indiana University in Bloomington.

Let me think about what I did when I was in college…okay, let me think about what my friends did in college. Papi, there are ton of great organizations; it really just depends on what you want to do or how committed you want to be. There are fraternities, clubs, sports, Illumenate!

I am going to shamelessly plug Illumenate for a second. If you are looking to meet new people and get involved with your community, Illumenate is a great place to start. Join Illumenate Core Group and help plan events and build your community.

Otherwise there are some great LGBT Organizations as well. For more information on those you can talk to Carol or Doug at the GLBT Student Support Services on campus. (Tell ‘em Argenta sent you…it won’t get you anywhere, but at least they will know who sent you).

Here is a list of LGBT groups that I know about:

GLBT SSS

SAGE

Out

Sigma Phi Beta

Click any of those links and you will find some group to start off with.

Also, IU hosts a student involvement fair every year at the IMU. Check that…stop by the Illumenate Booth and say “Hello” (tell ‘em Argenta sent you…again, not really gonna get you anywhere, but they may smile)

Well, that is what I have to say about it. So, I am going to send you un beso grande y un abrazo fuerte!

Gracias Querido for Asking Argenta!

2 Internships Available

We are looking for 2 energetic, committed individuals for a creative, fun, empowering, and peer-run HIV prevention/community-building program designed for young gay and bisexual men ages 18-29 in Bloomington, Indiana.

2 Internships Available.

Small Group Coordinator:  Provide leadership for the Project team, facilitate skills-building workshops, help conduct community-strengthening events, and be involved with community outreach. Recruit participants and facilitate small discussion groups for young gay and bisexual men.

Outreach Coordinator: Recruit volunteers to help design & coordinate fun, creative events to educate and encourage young gay and bisexual men about safer sex. Recruit participants and facilitate small discussion groups for young gay & bisexual men.

For more information and applications, call 812/ 353-3276 or email.

Please help spread the word about Lauren Spierer's disappearance!

Why do men love boobs?

Dear Concerned,

Querido, that’s like asking “How many licks does it take to get to the center of tootsie roll pop?”  “The world may never know!”   However, here is one explanation.

Thanks for the “Mammary’s”,

Argenta

Not all men have penises. Statements like, “I know that men do not have vaginas” makes me feel sad and erased. ): just sayin’…would be nice if your language was more trans inclusive.”

Dear Sad,

The article in question is Bad Bottoms and not an Ask Argenta post.  However, I do want to address this issue.  The phrasing that was used “I know that men do not have vaginas” was used to illustrate a point.  Prior to that statement the article talked about the use of feminine hygiene products for anal cleanliness. It was a statement that was used to bridge the two discussions. 

It is not in any way intended to single out or erase the transgender community.  We would love to have someone write for the Illumenate blog about Transgender issues, if you are interested please email illumenate.

With that said, I would like everyone to remember one thing.  One of our ground rule here at Illumenate is to speak from our own experience and to try not generalizing for the whole community.  If you have a story to tell or something to say from your experience, the Men of Illumenate welcome you to voice that opinion at the weekly core group meeting or here on the blog.

Un Abrazo fuerte y un beso grande,

Argenta.

Chef Boyrugay Presents:

Save the date, folks!  Chef BoyRUGay and the men of IlluMENate cordially invite you to “A Day in the Park” on Tuesday, May 10^th from 4-7 pm in Brian Park.  We will throw some favorites on the grill, enjoy good music, play outdoor condom-themed games ;-), and generally have a great time!  And we’ll be all wrapped up in time for Glee!  So come out to the park and celebrate the start of spring with the Men of Illumenate! 

The menu will be as follows:

Hot Dogs/Burgers (Veggie and…otherwise)

Grilled Veggies

Crudite

Fruit Salad

Hummus & Chips

Chef BoyRUGay’s renowned Potato Salad (you will want this recipe!)

Happy Hour Mocktails

Spring-themed Sweets

RSVP on the Illumenate Facebook Event page, or shoot an email to Illumenate.  Come Out, Have Fun, Get Turned On!

Marginally Frustrated

Dear Argenta,

Sometimes I feel like there is so much hate in our own community. It's weird cause I have spent so much time alleviating myself of judgment that I forget that some people still have them. I think that we are all so genuine and unique. Why must I be marginalized within my own community? Can't we all accept our differences and empower each other? I'm just frustrated at some (not all) gays who believe that cutting others down is imperative to prove something about themselves.

I'm open to your thoughts on this matter.

Dear Marginally Frustrated,

Ay Querido, this one weighs heavy en mi corazón!  In this matter, I have to speak my truths.  I am guilty as charged when it comes to passing judgments on others.  I love my community, I love my brothers, but sometimes; it’s a matter of loving me.   So for this one I will first speak to my own experiences.  

For me, growing up wasn’t always the easiest.  I was not only judged because of my exceptional beauty, but also for being “different” from everyone else in so many ways.  I was also given a set of expectations from my family on how to act, dress, speak, etc.  I will never say that I had a hard family life; it was filled with lots of love, but a lot of expectations. 

When I first encountered My People, I was very unsure about things.  Did I have the right style, right hair, am I too fat and so much more.  These little insecure thoughts became overwhelming.  At that moment my self-esteem was far from good.  So, I began to project those insecurities on to other people. 

Sometimes, Querido, I believe that because of what we all had to grow up with (i.e. stigma, homophobia, and fear) causes Papis to have a negative sense of self.   When we get around each other, sometimes we are reminded about all of those negative feelings.  So instead of identifying the true feeling, we purge our own consciousness and throw them onto others.

A second thought is that people are often the most vicious to their own kind. It's easier being vicious to people of one's own group than to people that stigmatized you in the first place.  If we were to project on to those who stigmatize us, we would risk being stigmatized even more. If they project on to other stigmatized gay men who may also have low self-esteem, those “victims” are less likely to have the energy or courage to retaliate against you. Those gay men who project on to others know precisely how bad it feels to be dumped on by other people (after all, they themselves went through a whole lifetime of abuse by society). They know precisely where to stab their brothers for maximal hurt.

One last thing Querido, make sure that you check in with yourself.  Look at all the ways you interact with others and know that sometimes without knowing it; we too pass a little judgment.  (Even if it is just the A4A profile that says “no Fat, no Fem”)  I want you to understand that sometimes, in our own minds we marginalize ourselves before our community even gets a chance!  This is something that I have to work on myself…just remember, Senora Eleanor Roosevelt said “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission."

Well, that is what I have to say about it.  So, I am going to send you un beso grande y un abrazo fuerte! 

Gracias Querido for Asking Argenta!